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3 minute read
To some, the idea of planning their own funeral may seem morbid, but this could not be further from the truth. This is an expected thought for someone living in the Western world because we’ve been made to think that death happens to someone else, somewhere else. People all throughout history have been very engaged with their dead. There is a fear that talking about death will somehow make it happen – I can assure you, that’s not how it works! Death is inevitable for all of us, which is exactly why it’s important to discuss.
What many people are realising is that they can reclaim the power around their death by planning their funeral. We plan every other major event – weddings, birthdays, etc, so why not organise our death? It is arguably the most important because it is the last memory our loved ones will have of us. Consider it an act of kindness towards them. People are finding that by planning their funeral, it allows them to live their lives in a more present and precious way. Becoming conscious of your limited time here, you can appreciate what you currently have.
The practical side of preparing your funeral service is helpful because it alleviates the stress from your loved ones. The guessing game is over, and they will be fully aware of what you would and would not want. It’s important to leave a little bit of planning for your family to get creative with, to feel like they were part of the service. It can be cathartic and healing. What you don’t want to happen is your family left without a clue on what you would have wanted, which is a reality for many. By taking control of your planning, you are gifting the peace of mind that comes with confidently knowing that you’re carrying out someone’s last wishes.
We encourage people to plan their own funeral. Some of the most moving and beautiful services we have carried out as a funeral home have been the ones where the person planned it themselves. Every last detail is considered not only for themselves and their preferences, but how it will impact the family. Having a eulogy read out that you’ve written can be quite powerful or you can leave that assigned to someone specific you trust. The chosen songs, poems and readings are typically uplifting and reflect a celebration of your life.
It’s quite cathartic to go through the process of planning your service. Doing the planning with another person sparks the conversation and might inspire them to consider what they would want for their funeral. I would then bring your plan to helpful a funeral director because they may ask some questions you didn’t consider prior, opening your mind to new possibilities. It is by having these meaningful conversations that we can break through the wall of mystery that surrounds death. The more we speak out about it, the easier that wall is to climb.