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In the UK, funeral tastes have been changing quite rapidly of late, leading to an ever greater adoption of direct cremation as a funeral choice. More and more British people, turning away from traditional, formal funerals, appreciate the increased flexibility and reduced formality of this funeral option. It has led to the question of what to do with the ashes of a cremated loved one becoming more important and worthy of consideration. In this article, we want to consider one of the main options: the ash scattering ceremony. We will discuss what it is, how it works, legal and financial considerations, and some special ideas.
If you’re reading this article because you have recently lost someone, and are wondering what to do with their ashes; or if you are reading this because you are thinking ahead to your own future funeral (and aftermath), you are in the right place. We’d like to recognise the potential difficulty of your current situation, and to say that we hope this article will be of use.
For those considering their own funerals, it may interest you to know that Aura is the top-rated national ‘Cremation Services’ provider, with a Trustpilot score of 4.9/5 stars. We offer prepaid funeral plans, starting at £1,695 — less than half of last year’s UK average funeral price (£4,285) according to SunLife.
Key Takeaways
When we receive the cremation ashes of a loved one following their direct cremation, we can often feel a little unsure of what we should do with them. Of course, there are all kinds of alternative options available for ashes, including more leftfield ideas like adding cremation ashes to a tattoo. However, one of the main choices that we will have to make is between the interment of ashes, or ash scattering.
One of the main reasons we might scatter ashes rather than holding on to them, burying them, or using them in some way, is to get the sense of setting that person free somewhere that was dear to them. We may also opt to scatter ashes in accordance with our beliefs on death and funerals in religion, or our cultural views.
By scattering the ashes of a loved one somewhere dear to them, for instance at a treasured local beauty spot, we feel as if we are bringing them (and ourselves) a sense of final peace. For that reason, it can be important to gather friends and family together in order to witness this moment at an ash scattering ceremony. We can invest this moment with a great deal of significance, and take a sense of collective closure from it, along with all the other people who are dealing with the grief of losing our loved one.
It’s important to bear in mind that there are some legal and environmental considerations to bear in mind when you are thinking about arranging an ash scattering ceremony. Always secure the permission of the landowner before scattering ashes anywhere, and consider the impact on the environment too.
When you are planning an ash scattering ceremony, you will need to think about where and when to hold it.
It’s important, when choosing the right location for an ash scattering ceremony, to strike the right balance between doing right by the person who has died, and doing what is legally and environmentally responsible and possible. For instance, the person who has died might well have been a very passionate Manchester United fan in life, but it may not be possible to scatter their ashes at Old Trafford. However, it might be possible to scatter their ashes elsewhere (privately owned land, or a natural beauty spot), and to theme the scattering ceremony around their love of Manchester United.
Water (rivers, lakes, the sea) is a very popular choice for people looking to scatter ashes. As is going to the top of a hill or mountain and scattering them in the wind. It’s very important to bear in mind the environmental considerations when choosing somewhere to scatter ashes. Whilst it’s a popular cremation myth to believe that human ashes are harmful per se, it’s certainly true that ashes, when scattered in large enough quantities, can change and even harm the local ecology. That’s because of the high level of phosphate found in ash, which can harm certain plant and animal species. As such, it’s important to check the websites of national parks and natural landmarks to make sure it’s okay to scatter ashes, and to seek permission beforehand from the relevant local authority.
There are a couple of different things to bear in mind when selecting the time of an ash scattering ceremony. First of all, the event is almost guaranteed to occur outside, which means that the time of year selected will impact the weather on the day. It’s worth bearing in mind whether to organise a ceremony that could last for a substantial amount of time outdoors during cold or wet weather when there could be infant or elderly attendees. In any case, it will be necessary to dress with the weather in mind.
The other consideration to make around this is whether there are any special dates to the person who has died around which the ceremony could be organised. For instance, a wedding anniversary, a birthday, or the date of their retirement. This can make an ash scattering ceremony an extra special way of remembering a loved one, as family and friends can gather and reminisce about special times, as they say goodbye.
As with any event, you’ll want to settle on a guest-list that feels right and in-keeping with what the person who has died would have wanted. It will also depend on the number of people they had in their life who would want the chance to pay their respects. If there is a choice, it will likely be between a small, intimate ceremony for a few loved ones and close friends, or a larger gathering.
You may want to think about whether you’d like someone to lead the ceremony, such as a funeral celebrant, or even a religious minister. They can help you to personalise some of the words that will be spoken around the life of the person who has died. They can supply inspiring and uplifting messages from stories about death, and they can incorporate anecdotes and witticisms from them into a eulogy.
When organising an ash scattering ceremony, we can incorporate a wide range of different special ideas, and take it in any direction. There are traditional themes and religious rituals; personalised ceremony elements; and creative ash scattering methods.
In various religions which favour cremation, such as Sikhism and Hinduism, the scattering of ashes is something that is holy and has religious significance. In the UK, it is possible to hire a boat or a barge in order to scatter ashes within running water. In this case, there may be extra costs to bear, such as (obviously) hiring the vessel and pilot, as well the time of a religious officiant.
Whilst there has generally been a decline of religion in the UK, these practices are still popular, with non-Christian religions actually growing in the UK in recent decades. Such ceremonies may involve symbolic and formal prayers, chanting and singing, as well as blessings and specific codes of dress.
The beauty of an ash scattering ceremony which is themed around the interests, tastes, and personal beliefs of the person who has died is that the only limit is the creativity of the organiser. The dress-code, themes, location, time, and content (words and music) of the ash scattering ceremony can all revolve around what they would have wanted, and what would help the attendees to best remember the one they’ve lost.
It’s important to talk about death and dying with our loved ones before it’s too late; it gives them a valuable opportunity to share any end-of-life wishes which they might have. For instance, they might have shared poetry or prose they’d like quoted, such as from ancient myths and legends, or they might have said that they’d like candles to be lit and for a moment of silence to reign as their ashes are scattered. These ideas can be incorporated into their own ash scattering ceremony.
With any Aura cremation in which the ashes of the person who has died are being hand-delivered to the family, they will be returned within one of our durable scatter tubes. The idea behind this is to make it as easy as possible to disburse the ashes fully and with dignity in the chosen place. With that being said, some people might like to bury ashes instead, and to organise a ceremony around that. Biodegradable urns can be used to responsibly bury ashes in woodland, natural burial sites, and even waterways and water bodies.
However, it’s possible to be even more creative than that. For example, our founder, Paul Jameson, knows that, when the time comes, he wants his ashes to go up into the sky on a firework and to explode in a ball of colour and light. It’s the perfect way to literally go out with a bang.
When you are conducting an ash scattering ceremony, it’s important to remember that an array of emotions will be experienced by the attendees. Some might see the happy or funny side of everyone wearing the football shirt of their loved one’s favourite team, but others despite the potential for merriment are still likely to feel sad. Ultimately, the reason for gathering in the first place is the death of a loved one, whether unexpected or otherwise. Be prepared to experience a range of emotions yourself, and to help others to deal with their grief.
And, as always, unless you own the location in which you intend to scatter the ashes, you must secure the relevant permission, whether from the private owner or from the local authority, to ensure that your ash scattering ceremony is legally compliant. You may also wish, if possible, to create a lasting memorial on the scatter spot, such as by planting a tree or installing a plaque somewhere nearby.
Thank you for reading this article about ash scattering ceremonies. We hope you have found it useful, and that it has helped you to understand what you’re likely to experience if you are set to attend one soon, or that it has given you ideas for your own one. It’s one of the lesser elements of end-of-life planning which we might forget to consider amidst the more important stuff like writing a will or choosing executors.
Aura is a family-run company, set up by our founder Paul following his 2017 diagnosis with motor neurone disease. Since 2019 he has been running the company alongside his son, David (our CEO) and our COO, Ben (a family friend). Every day, we strive to offer our direct cremation services — to both those in need now and to those seeking a funeral plan for the future — with the kind of compassion and respect which Paul would expect for his own family. It’s why we can truly say that we offer our expertise from our family to yours.
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