How to Share End of Life Wishes at Christmas

For many, the Christmas period is a time for joy, love and laughter (and perhaps a small mountain of food). But in its simplest form, Christmas is a time where you come together with family and friends from across the country – or the globe – for one of the few – if not the only – times in a year. 

And on such a rare occasion, believe it or not, it can actually be one of the most meaningful times of year to approach the one topic that many of us dare not to utter: dying.

In this article, we’ll explore the importance of sharing end-of-life wishes, contemplate whether Christmas is the right time for such discussions, and provide practical tips on how to initiate this crucial conversation.

The importance of sharing end-of-life wishes

Understanding and respecting an individual’s end-of-life wishes is a profound expression of love and consideration. It ensures that, in challenging times, their wishes are honoured, granting a sense of control and dignity in their final journey.

By discussing these wishes openly, it means that surrounding friends and family members have peace of mind in knowing what their loved one wanted, minimising potential conflicts during critical and emotionally-charged moments.

Sharing your end-of-life wishes means that those closest to you already have the answers when difficult questions are asked later on. Did they want to be an organ donor? Did they want their body donated to science? Did they want a religious service? Did they even want a funeral? These are all critical questions that, without the answers, can cause a lot of unnecessary stress to those who are left wondering if the arrangements they made for their loved ones, were in fact the right ones.

Is Christmas the right time to talk about end-of-life wishes?

So you might be wondering, is Christmas, a time of joy and laughter, really the right time to talk about something as sombre as death? 

Well, the answer to that is up to you. But if you answer “no”, perhaps the conversation needn’t be as scary as you might initially think. 

Christmas’ natural reflection on the year that has been can indeed be an incredibly meaningful time to initiate this conversation. You might be raising a glass to a loved one that should be sitting in the empty seat at the table, or even feeling grateful that someone you thought may have been lost this year, is in fact still with us.

In that case, if the atmosphere is right, it may be the opportune time to open that discussion…

How to start the conversation

It goes without saying that starting a conversation about end-of-life wishes requires delicacy and empathy. It can often help to start by expressing your own thoughts on the matter, or mention a conversation or topic that may have been in the media, on TV or mentioned between friends.

Another effective approach is to frame the discussion as an opportunity for mutual understanding and support. You can say: “I believe that knowing each other’s wishes can bring us closer and ensure that we are given a send-off that reflects the person we are.” Encourage participants to share their values, preferences, and any specific requests they might have.

If the conversation becomes emotional, allow space for those emotions to surface and be acknowledged. Remember that discussing end-of-life matters can be challenging, and it’s natural for people to feel a range of emotions. Approach the dialogue with patience and compassion, and so that everyone feels heard and understood.

If you’re considering your own end-of-life wishes…

Sharing end-of-life wishes at Christmas can be a deeply meaningful and considerate act. By addressing the importance of such discussions, and considering the appropriateness of the timing, families can gain much greater understanding and unity during the festive season.

Embracing these conversations with empathy and love can bring comfort and reassurance to both the person expressing their wishes and the loved ones who will carry them out in the future.