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Two Together: Save £100!
Save £100 when you purchase two funeral plans together. Call us for more details.
Here for you this Easter
Our Funeral Plan team is available Friday & Monday, 10am–4pm. Call us for support.
One of the most meaningful and potentially nerve-wracking funeral-related tasks is writing and delivering a eulogy on the life of the person who died. For the speaker, it represents the last chance to pay proper respect to the person who has died, and, for those listening, the quality of the eulogy can make or break the funeral ceremony. Given the height of the stakes, when we are the ones facing the need to give a eulogy at a funeral, we feel as if we could use a eulogy template.
If you’ve come to find us here, we recognise that there’s a chance you could have recently lost someone, and you have been tasked with delivering their eulogy. As such, we understand that you could be facing a difficult time. As far as we can, we’d like to offer you our support.
Key Takeaways
A eulogy is one of the most important speeches that anyone can give. It’s our chance to praise and honour the character of someone we’ve lost, and to celebrate their personality and life. It’s a vital part of any funeral ceremony, and allows the attendees to begin to deal with their grief.
The beauty of a eulogy is that it can be tailored to reflect the personality of the person who has died, in line with the different beliefs on death and funerals held by them and their family. It’s an opportunity to share jokes and funny anecdotes told by the person, and to reminisce about some of their triumphs and achievements. With that said, a good eulogy will adapt to the tone of the day; it might be that a more comedic tone is not suitable, in which case a more solemn and reflective tone could be adopted.
In short, the purpose of a eulogy is twofold: to give comfort to the mourners, and to honour the person who has died.
A good eulogy has some essential elements that should be encompassed: a strong introduction which sets the tone; the use of personal memories and anecdotes; and an acknowledgement of the impact that those who’ve gathered to mourn had on the life of the person who has died and vice versa.
If you are delivering a eulogy at someone’s funeral, it’s always a good idea to begin by thanking the attendees for having come. You should also introduce yourself by explaining who you are and how you are related to the person who has died. An attended funeral brings lots of people together from all aspects of someone’s life which don’t necessarily overlap (for instance, immediate family and former colleagues). This means that you may not be familiar to everyone, so it’s important to establish a sense of familiarity as quickly as possible.
You will also likely want to introduce the key direction or tone of your speech. For instance, if you are coping with the death of a parent, you may want to make ‘gratitude’ the key idea of your speech, in which you explain the key things you are thankful to them for. Or, if the person you have lost was a close friend, as appropriate a more comedic tone might fit better in order to capture the true sense of your relationship.
Personal memories and anecdotes are a fantastic way to make your eulogy seem more authentic, and to help the mourners get a true sense of how well you knew the person who has died. They will be able to relate their own grief more effectively to your words if they are reassured by the authenticity of your message. It can prove to be a very special and moving way of remembering a loved one.
When you are choosing stories to share, those more likely to be effective are those which reveal little hints of the character or personality of the person who has died which everyone in attendance will be able to recognise. Stories which show them in a good light should be favoured over anything that makes them the butt of a joke, unless it’s sure to be taken the right way. You will have to make such judgements yourself.
Acknowledging the mutual impact of the person who has died on the lives of those gathered (and vice versa) is a great way to direct the speech you are making. Share the contributions that the person has made, through their work, generosity, wisdom and advice, to the lives of those who are present. If appropriate, it can also be kind and healing to share how grateful the person themselves was for the love and affection they had received in life from those present.
This can be developed further to a general celebration of the good deeds and works they have done in the community, for instance through volunteering or charitable donation. If they had any extracurricular activities that had an impact on the locale, for instance if they ran or participated in local clubs or politics, this could also be a good opportunity to bring these references in.
Depending on the relationship that you had with the person who has died, you may want to structure the eulogy in different ways. If, for instance, you are writing a eulogy for a parent, the structure may well be different than if you are writing for a friend or a sibling.
Gratitude is a powerful sentiment to co-opt for a eulogy which is designed to honour the life of a parent who has died. For your parents, it can be a perfect theme to unite the anecdotes and reflections you want to share. You might want to include specific pieces of advice that they imparted to you, and how they helped you to overcome fears or achieve certain goals. You may also wish to include examples of self-sacrifice from them that enabled you to be happy or to follow your ambitions. Fond childhood and adulthood memories can also add candour and authenticity to your recollections.
If remembering a friend or a sibling, you may want to take a different approach. Naturally, if you feel you’d like to take the same strategy as for a parental eulogy, that is totally up to you. But, if you were close in age to your sibling, you may have had a relationship with them that was more akin to a very close friendship. In which case, it might be more authentic and natural to treat them that way in your eulogy.
To that end, humorous stories about your shared experiences of growing up and learning together can be highly relatable and show the mourners a different side of them. Detail their role in your life, and, in particular, if they helped you through any dark times.
The same tips that one might follow for any act of public speaking can apply to preparing for a eulogy. You can use a eulogy template to help you keep your speech to 5–10 minutes in length. If you are not used to public speaking, it’s important to remember that this time will elapse much sooner than you might think, so the key is to be minimalistic in your approach to writing. This is the optimum length for keeping people engaged; anything less than that and you likely won’t be able to scratch the surface of what you’d like to say, and anything more may take up a larger part of the ceremony and leave little time for other things, such as visual tributes, readings or music.
It’s often considered good advice to practice your speech multiple times aloud beforehand, perhaps before someone else who is attending the funeral. This will give you a sense of when to pause, how to pace yourself, and how long what you’ve already written will take to deliver. Practising your speech beforehand also gives a listener the opportunity to flag any recommended improvements or edits, for instance of things to add or to remove.
Furthermore, it is good practice to pace yourself. If you are nervous, you will likely feel a compulsion to speak faster than usual. In this case, by making a conscious effort to slow your speech down, you will help your delivery to sound more natural and confident. Under the effects of nervousness, you may consequently feel as if you are speaking much more slowly than you actually are; don’t be afraid of this.
Remember that you should also try to make eye contact with those who are listening, and you should try to project your voice to the back of the room so that everyone can hear you. Take a deep breath before you start, and try to focus on your breathing, using it as an anchor to help you calmly get through what you need to say.
Finally, don’t be afraid to show emotion when you are delivering your speech. It will be an emotional day, and nobody will blame you if you become overwhelmed; indeed, it will only increase the authenticity of your words if you yourself are affected by them. Keep a copy of what you’ve written with you, so that you will have something to read from if it becomes too difficult to do it off the top of your head.
You can use a range of eulogy templates from UK funeral services and charities if you are struggling to get the ball rolling. These, at the very least, will be able to give you a dummy structure which you can adapt to your own purposes.
Don’t be afraid to allow references from stories about death or from non-religious funeral poems, particularly if it was dear to the person who has died, to feature in your eulogy. This can be an elegant and effective way to elevate the language. There are also whole libraries of wise and comforting quotes about death from ancient to modern speakers, from philosophers to politicians and actors. You should feel free to use a few of them to enhance your message.
We hope you have enjoyed this eulogy template article, and that it has helped you to get started in thinking about delivering a eulogy. Aura is the top-rated national ‘Cremation Services’ provider on Trustpilot, with a rating of 4.9/5 stars. We offer our funerals to those in need now, in the shape of our direct cremation services, and through our prepaid funeral plans. We are also a family run company, with an industry-leading team of compassionate funeral experts known as the Aura Angels. They oversee the arrangement of all funerals, whether your needs are immediate or for the future.
If you’d like to know whether Aura could be the right partner for your funeral needs, why not give the Angels a call today? They’re waiting for your call.
