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Symbols of grief can provide a way for you to communicate your feelings of grief quietly when it might be difficult to put your emotions into words. They can also act as meaningful aids during ceremonies or personal moments of reflection, offering a tangible way of honouring and remembering a loved one.
Whether you’re reading this article to help navigate your own loss, offer support to someone close to you, or to incorporate symbols into a funeral service, we hope this guide to symbols of grief proves to be helpful.
Symbols of grief are powerful representations of sorrow, loss, and remembrance. Whether coping with the death of a parent or saying goodbye to the beloved family dog, creating a more concrete link to those we have lost through these symbols can serve as an anchor during what can be an emotionally turbulent time.
They can take the form of objects, gestures, or rituals and have been integral to humanity’s expressions of grieving throughout history. Across cultures and time, these symbols have helped people and communities to articulate complex emotions, honour people who have died, and begin the process of healing.
Whether a white lily at a funeral or a candle lit in memory, these symbols help us to convey our emotions when words fall a little short.
The journey of grief can feel isolating and lonely, extending far past the funeral or memorial service. Though we’re often in need of some extra support during this time, it can feel draining trying to go about talking about death and dying with family, friends and colleagues.
Figuring out what to do when someone dies can be overwhelming to say the least, and you may find it useful to incorporate a visual symbol for mourning in the days, weeks and months following the death of a loved one.
In the UK, some choose to wear bereavement badges depicting statements such as ‘I’m grieving, please be kind’, or black ‘awareness’ ribbons to let others know what they are going through. Whole communities may come together in wearing these symbols, which can be a way to foster a sense of unity in the wake of collective loss.
Established British funeral traditions leave plenty of room for incorporating symbolic imagery and ritual, as do more non-traditional ceremonies such as celebrations of life. You may want to instruct attendees to wear specific colours or a ribbon at the funeral, or utilise more traditional or religious symbols such as candles or wreaths in the service. Sharing these ideas can help bring mourners together in a sense of togetherness and connection.
If your loved one had chosen to purchase a prepaid funeral plan, they might have left instructions or guidance as to what kinds of themes or symbols they’d like to be used in their memorialisation. Understanding your loved one’s wishes for their service can provide peace of mind during what can be an emotionally challenging process of planning a funeral.
Sackcloth and ashes were the first recorded outward sign of one’s inward condition, and are mentioned several times in the Bible. Sackcloth is cited as being a coarse, black cloth made from goat’s hair, which was worn with a dusting of ashes as a sign of mourning.
While sackcloth and ashes were the first mention of symbolising grief on the exterior, the Ancient Romans were the first to wear intentionally dark clothing while in mourning. They wore a dark toga made of wool, known as a ‘toga pulla’, to signify the loss of a loved one
Even still, black has not always been the colour of mourning in the West. For centuries, white was commonly worn during periods of grief, due to the affordability of the fabric. During the Georgian era, black emerged as a widely recognised mourning colour, no longer reserved exclusively for royals. It became the customary colour across all social classes in the West largely due to Queen Victoria. Following the death of her husband, Prince Albert, in 1861, she adopted black mourning attire and wore it for the remaining 40 years of her life.
Mourning jewellery has a long history, dating back to the Middle Ages, but it gained popularity after the death of Queen Mary II in 1694. In England, pieces often featured black enamel and detailed engravings, serving as a visual cue that someone was experiencing a period of grief. Sometimes called a ‘memento mori’, or memorial jewellery, people began to incorporate other elements such as the hair of the person who had died, photographs, and jewels.
Later on with the rise in cremation in the UK, it became popular to incorporate ashes into the jewellery, and the pieces themselves became less dark and macabre. Nowadays, there are seemingly limitless options for remembrance jewellery to fit every taste and style.
Stationery
Mourning stationery is letters, envelopes, or calling cards bordered in black, signifying that the sender is in mourning. Using them for death notices became one way in which to sensitively break bad news to loved ones who were far away, all the while hinting at the sender’s potential emotional state. The letters would often be sent with a black wax seal as an initial warning to a recipient as to what they were about to open. A person in mourning would generally use personal stationery with a black border for up to a year following a loved one’s death, signalling that they were still observing their mourning period. This tradition began in Europe during the 17th century and reached its peak in popularity during the Victorian era, continuing into the early 20th century.
Wreaths
The circular nature of the wreath symbolises eternal existence and the circle of life, dating back to at least ancient Greece. They have been used at funerals and given as gifts to the bereaved to show solidarity and hope.
Flowers are among the most universal symbols of grief. Each bloom carries a meaning that adds depth to expressions of mourning.
Colours play a significant role in mourning rituals, with their meanings varying by culture.
The gentle glow and flicker of a candle classically symbolises the enduring memory of a loved one. Candles are often lit during vigils, their flames representing hope and the continuation of the spirit. Eternal flames, seen in memorials, signify the unbroken legacy of those we mourn.
Religious and spiritual symbols can offer comfort and meaning to those in faith who are grieving.
Ancient myths, legends and mythological figures have long been used to personify grief and loss, and can even act as powerful symbols of grief. Nyx, in Greek mythology, is the Goddess of night. She embodies mourning and darkness, while Orpheus represents the struggle of love and then loss through his journey to the underworld. Charon the ferryman symbolises the passage between life and death, while Oizys was the ancient Greek goddess of grief, anxiety, and depression. Her Roman name “Miseria” is where the modern term “misery” comes from.
Angels are often depicted as protectors of the soul. Found on gravestones and in memorial art, angels are one of the most common representations of guidance and the ascent to heaven.
Figuring out how to deal with grief is a different journey for everyone. While many established symbols of grief exist, you can create personal ones that reflect your unique circumstances. Those who wish to choose the symbols associated with them after their death can include these preferences in their funeral plan, or their will. Loved ones can use these details to carry on their memory in a way that honours their wishes.
While some symbols are universal, many are very personal and specific. Each person should choose symbols that resonate with their own experiences and memories. This makes it all the more impactful while navigating the sometimes difficult terrain of grief.
You can assign whatever imagery that speaks to you as a symbol of your grief. With this freedom, choose imagery that resonates with you and reminds you of the person who has died. This could be an object, a colour, an animal, or even a scene from nature that holds special meaning in your journey of remembrance.
Wearing memorial jewellery can be a personal way to remain connected to loved ones who have died. Options include necklaces, rings, and bracelets crafted with ashes or engraved with significant dates.
With the increase in direct cremation in the UK, new ways of incorporating ashes into objects have emerged as options for keeping your loved one close. Cremation ashes ideas range from using ashes in glass creations to memorial reefs to ‘stones’ you can keep in your pocket.
Living memorials provide enduring tributes that provide ongoing symbols of transforming grief, growth, and renewal. Planting trees or flowers can be a therapeutic activity to either do on your own or with family and friends.
Memorial benches engraved with names or quotes create spaces for reflection and can serve as a lasting reminder of someone who has died.
Art can be a profound medium for expressing grief. Painting, sculpting, or quilting allows you to capture shared memories or passions of the person who has died. These pieces of art can act as personal symbols of grief going forward, and items to hand down to others in the future.
Physical symbols give mourners an object in representation of their love and memories, offering comfort and a sense of closeness.
Symbolic grief imagery and objects can be used to enrich rituals, helping you to process emotions and create special moments for reflection and closure. Such rituals can be tremendously healing, especially within the context of dealing with the unexpected death of a loved one.
Symbols of grief, whether universal or deeply personal, help us navigate the complexities of loss. By embracing these symbols, we can find solace, honour those who have died, and carry their memory forward.
If you or a loved one would like to specify wishes in a funeral plan, Aura can help. We are here for support if you find yourself in need of arranging a funeral, immediately for a loved one, or in the future for yourself. Our empathetic team offers compassion and years of expertise, and will ensure that your experience is both comforting and seamless.
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Unlike other providers, we won’t hassle you with constant calls. We’ll simply ensure you have the information you need and leave you to come to a decision in your own time. When you’re ready for us, our team will be ready to help.