How to Plan Your Own Funeral

If you’re someone who is mindful of the potential challenges that funeral planning might place on your family, or you simply have a clear vision for the day, you may be interested in learning about how to plan your own funeral.

For many, it’s important, and can even be calming, to have a solid plan in place well ahead of time. It can ensure your final wishes are respected, and provide clarity for your loved ones by taking the guesswork out of what can often be a very difficult occasion. By arranging everything in advance, you’re able to make choices that reflect your personality and values, while relieving your family of the burden of making these decisions during an emotional time. In this comprehensive guide, we will help you to consider and navigate each step.

Aura’s prepaid funeral plans

If you’re looking to alleviate some stress for your loved ones after your death, you might be interested in purchasing a prepaid funeral plan. Arranging a funeral after experiencing a loss can feel overwhelming; by considering a prepaid funeral plan from Aura as part of your end-of-life preparations, you are taking steps towards creating a more peaceful and secure future for your family. As the UK’s highest-rated prepaid funeral plan provider*, Aura’s plans allow you to arrange the details and cover the costs of your funeral in advance, making sure that your family is taken care of during what is likely to be an emotional and distressing time.

A prepaid funeral plan empowers you to arrange your funeral according to your preferences, ensuring your wishes are respected and carried out. When the time comes, our team of expert funeral arrangers, the Aura Angels, will be there to guide your family through every aspect of the arrangement. Whether it’s handling paperwork or offering emotional support, we’ll be there to help as much or as little as needed.

Not only will purchasing a prepaid plan help you to feel more prepared, by securing today’s prices, you protect your family from rising funeral costs in the future. You might be asking yourself, “Are funeral plans safe?”: Aura is regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority (FCA), and our plans are protected by the Financial Services Compensation Scheme (FSCS). So, you can rest assured that, when you purchase a prepaid funeral plan from Aura, your money is secure. 

*UK’s highest-rated as the only prepaid direct cremation plan provider to have two five-star-rated plans by Fairer Finance, and the highest-rated national ‘Cremation Services’ provider on Trustpilot.

Why plan your own funeral?

Personalisation and peace of mind

If having a say in what happens at your funeral is important to you, mapping out your own details can bring great peace of mind to you and those around you, removing any question marks from the future.

Choosing your own funeral particulars allows you to craft a goodbye that feels very authentically ‘you.’ From the type of service to the music played, each element can be tailored to reflect your identity, style, values, and beliefs. This level of personalisation ensures that your vision is not only carried out but celebrated, creating a unique event that feels true to your life. This is especially true for any end-of-life celebration you’d like to be held for you, or any cremation ashes ideas you might have regarding scatter-places, or keepsakes.

Getting clear on your preferences also offers a sense of reassurance, both for you and for your loved ones. Preplanning eliminates uncertainty, giving your family a transparent blueprint of your wishes. It will help them find comfort during a difficult time, and there will be no question as to what you would have wanted.

Reducing stress for family members

Advanced preparation provides your family with clarity, and can help to spare them from difficult decisions whilst they are grieving.

The grieving process can introduce a whole host of confusing emotions and thoughts, whether for the unexpected death of a loved one or anyone else. By planning ahead, you will have given those you leave behind a great gift by removing any worries or concerns they may have had over your wishes. 

They’ll have a sense of direction knowing exactly what you wanted, which can be invaluable at what can already be a very difficult time. Financially, prearrangements can also ease the burden by covering or securing funds for funeral expenses, removing an extra layer of stress from loved ones. 

Key steps in planning your own funeral

Define your funeral preferences

When thinking about your funeral, consider the basics: do you prefer the idea of a simple, no-fuss unattended cremation, or a more involved, attended cremation ceremony? Does a traditional wooden coffin feel like the right choice, or would a natural wicker option be your preference? You can go as stripped back or elaborate as feels right to you, and you can change your mind and amend your plan as the years progress.

Each option comes with different funeral costs and considerations. For example, opting for an attended ceremony may require an officiant or celebrant, while simple cremations may call for a more relaxed and non-traditional celebration afterwards at an alternative venue. It’s up to you how involved you’d like to be in the planning process – you might feel more comfortable leaving very detailed instructions, or more general ideas might suffice.

Other points to ponder include the location and style of the service. Whether you envision a religious ceremony, a secular gathering, or a creative alternative, defining your preferences will guide the planning process. Take time to consider cultural or spiritual elements you’d like incorporated, as well as any specific readings, songs, or mementoes that hold meaning for you.

You might also think about setting a particular outfit aside so that loved ones will know what you prefer to be dressed in. You may choose treasured belongings or sentimental messages to be put inside of your coffin, or displayed on the exterior if you’d like an attended service. Let your imagination run, perhaps dedicating a journal for this purpose. Write freely what comes to mind without worrying about the specifics immediately.

Selecting funeral services and providers

Choosing the right funeral service provider is essential to achieving the desired outcome for your funeral plans. Look for providers who align with your budget, values, and ideal level of support. You may also want to consider a provider’s reputation and experience; reading reviews or speaking with others who have used their services can provide valuable insights. Especially when putting your money into preplanning with a company, it’s important to do your research and compare funeral plans to make sure your funds are well protected. 

At Aura, we offer prepaid funeral plans that are FCA-authorised and FSCS-protected, giving families the confidence that their funds are secure. This option can prevent financial surprises down the line, and with Aura, prepaid plans are fully refundable, offering added peace of mind if your circumstances happen to change. 

As a family-owned and operated funeral provider, our strong ethos, tight-knit team and compassionate values colour everything we do. Our founder Paul Jameson was inspired by his own journey with end-of-life planning in 2019 after his motor-neurone-disease diagnosis. He wanted to establish a company that helps families in the UK to benefit from his own experience with end-of-life planning. Today, Paul continues to lead Aura alongside his son, David (our CEO), and a family friend called Ben (our COO). Our mission is to provide a service quality that never drops below what Paul would want for his own family. We’re also the UK’s top-rated provider of ‘cremation services’ on Trustpilot, with a score of 4.9/5 stars.

Living funerals: celebrating life before death

What is a living funeral?

A living funeral, pre-death celebration, or sometimes called a celebration of life, is an event where friends and family gather to honour a person’s life while they are still present to experience it. Living funerals allow individuals to connect with loved ones, share memories, and bask in the joy of togetherness in a way that traditional funerals might not.

This type of gathering is especially potent for those with terminal diagnoses, giving them a chance to say goodbye on their own terms. It can also create meaningful memories for family and friends, offering closure and comfort. 

Planning and arranging a living funeral

Planning a living funeral involves choosing a setting and curating an experience that reflects a person’s life. It can be an opportunity to get creative and think outside of the box; a chance to dream up wonderfully meaningful activities.

Conversely, prioritising familiar and comforting surroundings might be more appropriate. As for the flow of the event, some prefer to keep the event informal, allowing it to evolve naturally, while others opt for a more structured gathering.

Furthermore, think about what setting would make you feel most at ease—whether that be at home, outdoors, or in a favourite gathering place—and decide how best to construct the event. From inviting guests to arranging meaningful speeches or activities, the options are endless. You might include personal stories, photo or video tributes, and even small mementoes for guests to keep.

Considerations for a memorable living funeral

To make the event truly personal, include elements that are unique to you. This could be a favourite piece of music, a beloved reading, or symbolic tokens for guests.

Because a living funeral is not bound by traditional formats, it can be light-hearted and fun, allowing space for joy and gratitude alongside reflection. Embrace the flexibility of this format to create a celebration that feels just right.

Documentation and legal considerations

Documenting your plans is crucial for ensuring that your wishes are followed. Planning your funeral doesn’t just refer to buying a funeral plan, it also relates to setting down your wishes for others to understand when you’re no longer here. It can include all key details of your preferences, from the service type and location to music choices and personal touches. 

It’s also recommended that you share your plan with people who will be responsible for seeing it through, such as close family members and executors. When you buy one of Aura’s funeral plans, at the point of purchase, you will appoint a ‘Nominated Representative’ (normally a close friend or trusted family member) who will be our point of contact when you’re no longer here. They will notify us that it’s time to put your plan into action, and we will coordinate everything with them.

We understand that everyone copes with grief differently, with some choosing to distract themselves with work, whereas others need extra support. Whether our direct cremation services are needed in the short term, or as part of a funeral plan, our Aura Angels will be able to personalise the level of support offered, making the service seamless. 

Options for documenting your preferences

A prepaid funeral plan allows you to pay and plan in advance for your funeral services. These plans are designed to help you plan your funeral according to your preferences, thus simplifying the process down the line for your loved ones.

If you’re uncertain about whether a funeral plan is right for you, an alternative option is to document your funeral preferences in a different way. Some people prefer to keep their plan alongside other important documents at home, perhaps in a safe or a designated file, where it can be easily accessed when needed. Others may choose to store it with a trusted funeral provider, lawyer, or even within a digital planning platform like Aura Circle, ensuring that it is professionally safeguarded. 

At Aura, we provide the Aura Circle end-of-life planning tool for free; it allows you to digitally share your wishes with your loved ones. From specifying your organ donation or advanced care preferences to selecting the songs you’d like played at your funeral, it gives you a free and simple way to communicate all your end-of-life wishes.

Regardless of where you keep it, the most important thing is that your plan is readily accessible to those who need it. Your wishes can then be smoothly and respectfully fulfilled without added stress or uncertainty for your loved ones.

Wills and advance care plans

There are several options when it comes to where to write your funeral plan. An advance care plan, or advance statement is a customised document that can outline choices for medical treatment, end-of-life care, and other personal preferences such as funeral plans. In Scotland, this is called an anticipatory care plan or future care plan, while in Wales, it may be referred to as an advance or future care plan.

A will is a legal document that outlines how you want your assets and belongings to be distributed after your death. It also allows you to appoint an executor who will manage your estate and ensure your wishes are carried out. 

You can express your funeral wishes by including them in your will, though it’s important to note that this particular section isn’t legally binding. This means those managing your will aren’t required to follow your funeral preferences. For this reason, it’s helpful to also discuss your wishes with family or close friends.

If you choose to outline funeral details in your will, consider keeping a separate copy of your preferences. This way, your wishes can be known even if your will is accessed too late to arrange your funeral. Though when someone dies without a will it has greater impacts on the financial and legal side of things, having your wishes documented can also provide valuable guidance and comfort to your loved ones.

Making financial arrangements

Funerals can be costly and confusing, and planning ahead can relieve your loved ones of the financial strain. Some find it helpful to have funeral costs explained by trusted professionals. Prepaid funeral plans, like those offered by Aura, allow you to lock in today’s prices, which may protect against potential future inflation. Alternatively, you might consider setting aside funds in a dedicated savings account earmarked for funeral expenses. 

Consider whether you’re interested in arranging a low-cost funeral, or if funds aren’t an important factor for you. With that in mind, make sure your financial plan covers all necessary aspects of the funeral if you’d like to pay for it in its entirety. This would account for service costs, transportation, and any extras such as a memorial or gathering. Transparency about costs is important, so confirm there are no hidden fees or limitations.

If finances are tight

There are still options available if you don’t have the money to pay for a funeral, and you don’t want to leave the financial responsibility to your family. Over-50’s life insurance, crowdfunding, government schemes and charities are all possibilities to consider. 

Choosing and communicating funeral details

Selecting ceremony details and personal touches

Deciding on the finer details of your ceremony is a powerful way to leave a lasting impression that allows your personality to truly shine through. Your funeral options in this modern day and age are as varied and vast as ever.

Every element –from music and readings to mementos for guests to the colour and types of flowers –offers a unique opportunity to celebrate your life and the values that were most important to you.

Selecting meaningful songs, for example, might involve choosing music that holds special memories or lyrics that resonate with your journey, creating an emotional connection for those who attend.

Readings or poems can reflect your personal beliefs or convey messages you’d like to leave with loved ones, highlighting your essence and values in every moment of the service.

Tributes and keepsakes

Tributes are another way to capture the spirit of your life and relationships. You might invite family or friends to share memories, create a photo slideshow, or write a eulogy that showcases your achievements, passions, and cherished qualities. For an extra personal touch, consider arranging small keepsakes, such as candles, bookmarks, or custom booklets, that guests can take home. These mementos not only honour your legacy but also provide friends and family with a comforting reminder of the moments you shared.

Ultimately, these personal touches ensure that the ceremony is not only a farewell but also a heartfelt celebration of your life, capturing what made you one-of-a-kind. Letting your individual style guide these choices transforms the event into an authentic and memorable experience for everyone, helping loved ones connect with the memories they hold dear.

Deciding who is involved and delineating roles

When planning your own funeral, choosing who will be involved is a meaningful way to personalise the experience and ensure that the people closest to you play a role in honouring your life. Here are some considerations for selecting individuals to participate:

• Immediate family and close friends: These are often the people who know you best, and inviting them to take an active role in your service can be deeply comforting for them. You might want specific family members or close friends to deliver readings, share memories, or serve as pallbearers. Consider discussing your wishes with them in advance, especially if there are specific stories or messages you’d like them to convey.
  
• Ceremony officiant or celebrant: Choosing an officiant who aligns with your beliefs and values—whether a religious leader, celebrant, or even a trusted friend—can set the tone of the service. If you prefer a more personal touch, you might select someone who knows you well or could capture the essence of your personality in the eulogy.

• Musicians or performers: If music or performance is part of your vision, you might invite musicians, singers, or performers to contribute. This could include loved ones with musical talents or even hiring professionals to play specific pieces that are special to you.

• Ushers and support roles: You may want to assign roles like ushers to friends or relatives who could welcome guests, hand out order-of-service booklets, or guide people during the ceremony. These roles are especially helpful for larger gatherings, as they ensure that the event runs smoothly.

• Funeral planner or coordinator: If you’d like for someone to oversee the details, selecting a funeral planner or coordinator can be helpful. This could be a professional you trust or a friend who can step into this position, handling the logistics so that family members can focus on the ceremony itself.

Informing family and executors of your wishes

Talking about death and dying with loved ones and friends can feel uncomfortable, but clear communication with family members and executors is essential to ensuring peace of mind ahead of a difficult time.

Share your plans with those who will be responsible for enacting them, and make sure they understand any details or preferences you feel strongly about. This will help avoid any confusion and provide peace of mind that your wishes are known and respected. 

Making arrangements for donations or ashes

Registering organ and body donation wishes

If you plan to donate organs or your body to science, it is vital to register and document these intentions.

In the UK, organ donation operates under an opt-out system, but explicitly registering your choice can help avoid misunderstandings.

If you wish to donate your body for medical research or education, specific arrangements need to be made with a registered institution prior to your death. 

Practical considerations regarding donation

Organ and body donation come with particular legal and procedural requirements. Documenting these wishes formally, alongside your funeral plan, helps to ensure they are enacted upon. 

Communicate your choices clearly to your family, who may need to make decisions at the time of death. Knowing and respecting your wishes in this way can provide comfort to those you leave behind.

Body donation may not be possible in every circumstance, so having an alternative plan in place is a wise idea. This will help to make sure your loved ones know what to do in the event your body is not accepted for donation.

If your body is deemed acceptable for donation, the institution will usually offer to cremate or, in some cases, bury the remains respectfully, often at no cost to the family. The ashes can typically be returned to the family upon request. It is important to have all potential eventualities written out.

Instructions for cremated remains

If you have specific wishes for how your ashes should be handled after death, it’s important to document these instructions clearly with loved ones. It could be as simple as letting loved ones know where you’d like to be scattered or stored, or more creative plans for cremation ashes such as putting them into fireworks or even tattoos.

Your lasting memory

In planning your own funeral, you’re not only making thoughtful choices that reflect your values and personality, but you’re also providing clarity and comfort to those you leave behind.

By taking the time to outline your preferences, select meaningful details, and communicate openly with loved ones, you’re creating a farewell that truly honours your life. This act of preparation can bring about a sense of calm, knowing that your wishes will be respected and your family supported during a challenging time.

Planning ahead is a gift—one that brings reassurance to both you and those who matter most.

Planning your funeral with Aura

Aura is here to work alongside and support you, should you choose to plan your own funeral. We are proud of the compassion, patience and kindness with which we offer our expertise. Our wonderful  Aura Angels will be there to guide you and your family by the hand when considering a prepaid funeral plan. They’re not only funeral-arranging experts, but they offer a compassionate and personalised service that is second to none.. 

As a family-run company, we are committed to providing you with the kind of care and respect we would offer our own families. Our Trustpilot reviews reflect the quality of our services, and we are proud to be the UK’s highest rated all-inclusive prepaid direct cremation plan provider.

Our plans provide an affordable alternative to traditional funerals, offering peace of mind for you and those closest to you. For more information, please feel free to get in touch with our team, or request your free Aura funerals planning brochure on the link below.