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Two Together: Save £100!
Save £100 when you purchase two funeral plans together. Call us for more details.
Through technological advances the world is shrinking all the time, and some would say that it has never been smaller. Yet, despite this, more and more of us live our lives many hours’ travel away from where we were born, and from the network of our families and childhood friends. When life’s big moments happen, like weddings, births, and funerals, it can be really difficult to know how to send love and support from afar.
The pandemic has accelerated a trend in digital communication and experiences which has changed the landscape of funerals and grieving for good. In this article, we want to talk about how to send love and support from afar to our loved ones. If you’re reading this, we want to acknowledge right away that you might be facing a difficult time in your life, and that you might be wondering how to do exactly that. We are here to help. Aura is the UK’s top-rated national ‘Cremation Services’ provider on Trustpilot, with a score of 4.9/5 stars, and we proudly offer our funeral services to those in need of a direct cremation imminently, or those seeking a prepaid funeral plan for the future.
Simply acknowledging the loss is one of the best ways that we can help those dear to us to cope with the death of a parent, for example, or with the unexpected loss of a loved one. Typically, from afar, this can be a bit tricky. We may run the risk of appearing cold or uncaring by not being there physically with those we love at such a difficult time. But, by making special gestures and using technology effectively, you can make a big difference to loved ones in your life who may be wondering how to deal with grief, even from a great distance.
Maintaining emotional connections is crucial in any long-distance relationship, whether romantic, familial or otherwise. Both you and those whom you want to support will derive important emotional benefits from your effort to be there for them. You will be letting them know that they are in your thoughts, and that they are not alone, whilst you will be able to feel that you are making a difference from your remote position.
When you make a gesture, such as sending flowers or a letter commiserating with someone who is bereaved, it will live long in their memory that you made an effort to make your support felt at a difficult time. Gestures like this can make the distance between you and someone dear to you appear not so great after all.
There are plenty of creative ways to send your love from afar, including thoughtful gifts and care packages; connecting digitally; and virtual gestures.
Just as you might when announcing a death to friends and family, sharing your condolences with something written by hand can make it extra special. It will show your reader that you’ve taken extra time to commit your message to paper for them. A message like this can become a treasured sentimental keep-sake for your bereaved loved ones in a way that a WhatsApp message or email cannot.
You can also send them a care package, containing whatever you know they might like to receive, from flowers, to tea, to chocolate. You could also send a meal to them, if you know that they can’t face the thought of food-shopping or cooking. Little things like this can be like receiving a hug from somewhere far away, and can make a big difference to the state of mind of someone who is grieving.
Through technology, we can connect digitally in all kinds of ways. You can send a voice note to share an audio message of condolence, allowing the recipient to replay your message if they feel they need to, and to feel a connection on a deeper level. Technology can even allow us to say goodbye to those who may be dying, but whom we may not be able to reach in time from where we are based. As always, where possible, it’s important to try to be there in person.
But we can use video calls and other technology to bridge the gap and connect. They can even be useful for starting a conversation about death. For instance with children, you can use it to play online games, which can help to take their minds off what they might be feeling, or can act as a springboard into a conversation that they want to have but don’t know how to start. Failing that, an e-card is a good way to send something more meaningful than a simple text message, but which can still arrive faster than a physical card.
Many of the things that we can do in person to show empathy can also be done from a distance. This can include listening actively and checking in regularly, as well as sharing encouragement and positive feelings.
When you are on the phone, or in a video conversation with a loved one who is bereaved, it’s important to listen closely to what they are saying. In all likelihood, you will not be able to do anything practical to fully heal their pain – the thing causing them the most hurt is someone’s death, the fact of which you won’t be able to change – but by actually listening to what they are saying rather than merely making sympathetic noises, you can help them to feel like someone is one their side.
Aside from this, it’s important to ask meaningful follow-up questions to what they are saying, to try to direct the conversation somewhere, helping them to fully explore how they feel when they are talking to you. By showing them that your conversations can be productive, they will value your support more, and get more out of it. You should also make sure to regularly check in with them – especially if you have said that you will. It’s important not to make promises to someone who is grieving which you don’t intend to keep.
If you are thinking about what to say when you don’t know what to say, you can try using stories about death for inspiration. There are all kinds of novels, tv-shows and films out there which deal with the subject of death, touching on all walks of life. You can use your own experiences to help them see what is beautiful about death, and, where appropriate, you can even use humour and lightheartedness to help them see a pathway to a different emotional perspective.
There are also a number of practical things you can do to support your grieving loved ones from a distance. You can help with tasks or responsibilities which they may have, or offer financial and resource-based assistance where relevant.
Meal deliveries and errand assistance can be meaningful ways of helping the bereaved. Gestures like getting a shopping or food delivery, or perhaps assisting with some of the admin that can arise with a death (like registering a death or filling in cremation forms) can offer more to people than emotional support. Life doesn’t stop when we lose someone, and it can often get a lot more complicated, so lending a hand with the burden of the stuff of life can sometimes communicate your love and support more than words can.
If you’re able to, gestures like offering financial gifts can be really helpful. People often worry about how to pay for a funeral, so offering to help with even some of the minor expenses can reduce worry and stress at a difficult time. You could even make gestures like paying for a subscription service you think they might like, or simply giving them a gift card for something small. As ever, use your best judgement when deciding to offer financial support by reflecting on whether it would be an appropriate offer to make.
We hope this article on how to send love and support from afar has been helpful for you. It can be a tricky thing to get right knowing what kind of support to offer our loved ones, especially if we can’t be there in person. But using a combination of emotional and practical support, and with the help of technology, there is a way to bridge the gap and let them feel your spirit.
If you’re in the position of needing to organise a funeral, perhaps for a loved one who has recently died, Aura can help. We are the top-rated national provider of ‘Cremation Services’ on Trustpilot with a score 4.9/5 stars, which we’ve earned from the families who’ve placed themselves in our care. Our wonderful, industry-leading Aura Angels will be there to guide you compassionately through all the hurdles of funeral arranging, from logistical to administrative and emotional elements. We can even offer our funeral services to you for the future, through our prepaid funeral plans – whatever you need.
