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Save £100 when you purchase two funeral plans together. Call us for more details.
Poetry is one of the most moving forms of language to use in any context, but at a funeral, it has the power to lift things on to a higher level. Poetry also offers those who are not religious the chance to enrich the language of their funeral in the same way that scripture does for those who are religious. In this article, we are going to discuss some of the best non-religious funeral poems.
Before we begin, we’d also just like to say that, whatever has brought you here, we recognise that you could be facing a difficult time. It might be that you are thinking ahead to what poetry you’d like to be read at your own funeral, or you might be more concerned with honouring a loved one who has recently died. Whether your funeral needs are now or for the future, Aura can help: We are the top-rated national ‘Cremation Services’ provider on Trustpilot, with a score of 4.9/5 stars. We’ve earned that rating by offering our funerals to those in need now, through our direct cremation services, and to those thinking ahead for themselves via our prepaid funeral plans with a unique compassion and quality.
Key Takeaways
Today, with the decline of religion in the UK, and with other societal factors, the traditional funeral is seeing waning popularity. People are looking for alternatives to the typical formalities of hearses, processions, funeral hymns and black dress. In this context, direct cremation has risen as a credible alternative, and the British funeral landscape has changed dramatically. Non-religious funeral poems and readings have risen alongside direct cremation, along with the use of funeral celebrants and the popularity of non-religious funerals.
Non-religious poetry offers a way for non-religious people to elevate the language of their funeral ceremony without religious scripture; something that people sometimes worry about achieving when opting for something like a direct cremation. Direct cremation is a cremation type which focuses on the cremation process, and it is normally conducted without a ceremony or any attendees; for that reason, some people find it to be a little too brusque or informal. With that said, some providers, such as Aura, offer attended direct cremation services too.
By incorporating non-religious poetry and readings (perhaps from ancient myths and legends about death or from stories about death) into the format of a modern cremation funeral, alongside the best funeral songs, families can personalise their ceremonies like never before, without losing any of their reverence.
Today there is a broad spectrum of funeral types, including formal religious funerals with prayers and hymns; explicitly non-religious humanist funerals with non-religious material; and more flexible funerals that might be led by a funeral celebrant which could feature a mix of both religious and non-religious language and music.
There are a range of popular non-religious funeral poems which exemplify different moods and could work to reflect a wide range of personalities. For instance, there are uplifting and inspirational funeral poems; reflective and emotional non-religious poems; and positive and happy funeral poems.
Some people like to choose an uplifting and inspiring non-religious funeral poem, whether for their own funeral, or that of someone who has recently died. A poem like Dylan Thomas’s ‘Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night’ is perhaps one of the most famous examples of such a poem. With its central theme of adopting a defiant posture towards the inevitability of death, and of its voice full of righteous anger, it can inspire us to courage in the face of death, offering us a way to deal with our grief.
It has recently been famously used in Christopher Nolan’s enormously successful film, Interstellar, in which it was read by Michael Caine’s character, Professor Brand. It lends a splendour and richness to the context of the film, which is ultimately about a space mission to ensure the continued existence of humanity, and of not going down without a fight.
One of the most moving and reflective poems about grief and loss is surely ‘Ae Fond Kiss’ by Scotland’s national poet, Robert Burns. It lays bare the poet’s grief at the loss of his lover, whom he calls Nancy, and, in effect, it is the way he found to say goodbye to her, as this stanza shows:
“Fare thee weel, the first and fairest,
Fare thee weel, the best and dearest,
Thine be ilka joy and treasure:*
Peace. Contentment. Love and pleasure!
Ae fond kiss, and then we sever;
Ae fareweel, alas, forever!
Deep in heart-wrung tears, I’ll pledge thee;
Warring sighs and groans, I’ll wage thee!”*‘ilka’ = every
Like many of Burns’s poems, ‘Ae Fond Kiss’ has often been beautifully adapted for music. This wonderful rendition by Canadian Sopranno, Lois Marshall, brings out the despair and finality of grief at its rawest, as expressed in the poem.
Others prefer to remember a loved one by striking a more positive, reflective tone with non-religious poetry for a funeral. A good example of that could be one that resonates with personal experiences and personalities:
“I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —
I took the road less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
This is the most famous stanza from Robert Frost’s ‘The Road Not Taken’, and it strikes a decisively soft and comforting note. It gestures towards an unknown, and comforting future, whilst also emphasising the importance of ‘taking the road less travelled’, that is, of going one’s own way and of being curious and unique. For that, it works perfectly as a way of celebrating someone’s individuality and tendency to plough their own furrow. This tendency can be further developed by celebrating someone’s individuality at their celebration of life.
You may want to give non-religious poetry readings at a funeral for different relationships. For example, depending on who has died, you can choose your poetry accordingly. There are good options out there for the funeral of a parent, or of a friend or partner, and there are humanist and philosophical readings available too.
Poetry can be used to help us cope with the death of a parent, by choosing an appropriate and special reading for their funeral. The trick is to emphasise what they’ve taught us, or how they’ve been there for us. For example, Rudyard Kipling’s ‘If—’ is written from the perspective of a father talking to his son as he tries to instil the importance of holding your nerve and sticking to your guns. This is the kind of message which bereaved sons can empathise with, and it may recall similar advice imparted to them by their own fathers. It has appeared in various pieces of film and tv, such as the irreverent Mike Bassett: England Manager.
For mothers, something that focuses on all the positives that they have left behind is often favoured. For that reason, ‘She Is Gone’ David Harkins is often selected. It’s a poem that seems to convert negative emotion into positive emotion, encouraging the reader / listener to shift their perspective from one of grief and pain towards one of reflectiveness and remembrance. It urges us instead to remember the good that the person we’ve lost has done for us.
It can be particularly hard when a cherished relationship, such as with a best friend or a partner is concluded by death. Non-religious poetry can help us to see that, in fact, death is not the end for such relationships — just another phase. A good poem that can work well for both such relationships is ‘Let Me Go’ by Christina Rossetti. This frank, direct address to the griever is as beautiful as it is comforting, putting us into a thankful state of mind.
If poetry isn’t a preferred option, there are a whole host of philosophers and thinkers who can be called upon to provide comfort at times of grief. From the classical world, we don’t have to work too hard to find a word of wisdom from Cicero or other great thinkers. Cicero had plenty to say about not fearing death, and about old age, and his stores of knowledge can be raided for any funeral. He wrote that “old age is the crown of life; the final act in the play of life”. We take strength from this reflection because it frames the trajectory of life towards aging as a positive one, not a negative one. This has the dual effect of comforting one who is dying of old age, perhaps even helping them to talk about death and dying with their family more easily, as well as helping us to see their loss as the pinnacle of their life, rather than its lowest point. We can take comfort in that idea.
Choosing the right non-religious poetry or prose reading for a funeral service will depend on a number of things. Firstly, what would be most appropriate for the person who has died? If you know that they have set out their end-of-life wishes, and that it includes guidance on what readings they’d like, then it would be a good idea to follow it as far as possible.
If you’re thinking about your own preferences, this is a little easier to settle on, but you will have other considerations to make. For instance, on tone, length, and personal significance. What works for you on a personal level may alienate mourners if the tone doesn’t match the feeling on the day, and if the reading were to go on for too long. When deciding in advance on what poetry to include, bear this in mind.
If you are organising a funeral for someone who has died and you are thinking about when to include the poetry they’d like, the eulogy could be a good place. Make sure to pace your reading properly, and to read to the back of the room, so that everyone can hear you fully.
Thank you for reading our article about non-religious poetry. Whether you are thinking ahead to your own future funeral service, or are arranging a funeral for someone who has recently died, we hope it has been useful for you. If you require support with organising a funeral in either case, Aura is ready to help. Our 4.9/5 stars rating on Trustpilot comes from our compassionate and knowledgeable service, which is delivered by our industry-leading Aura Angels. They can advise and support on all funeral-related matters, from admin, to logistics, and even emotional matters, if you need.
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