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Save £100 when you purchase two funeral plans together. Call us for more details.
Music is one of the most versatile and beautiful elements of any funeral ceremony. It has the power to express feelings that we can’t put into words; recall powerful memories; and exemplify the personality and character of those we’ve lost like nothing else. Consequently, making the right choice about what music to have for our own funeral or (perhaps even more dauntingly) for the funeral of a loved one who recently passed away.
In this article, we will discuss the best funeral songs ever, helping you to think of what music might be appropriate for different people, and situations.
Music has the power to personalise a funeral ceremony like few other things, and it always seems to happen at a funeral that we are moved especially by the music we hear. It can enhance the dignity and specialness of one of life’s most important moments, and can be very important for helping any mourners present to gain a sense of closure. Music can also offer a sense of comfort, too, helping mourners to feel as if the person who has died is somehow near them through song. It can be a powerful tool for coping with grief.
Music has traditionally been involved with funerals for many hundreds of years. It offers the chance for the expression of different beliefs on death and funerals in religion, with many of the most beautiful and sacred religious songs centering on this subject. But it also gives those who have passed away one last chance to raise a smile or a laugh, with many people opting for irreverent or wry song choices as an alternative to sombre or reflective material.
Selecting the right music can be a task fraught with tension. If we are choosing for our funeral, we might agonise about what song best sums us up, or best communicates our feelings about life to those who’ve come to pay their respects. Whereas, if we are choosing for another person, we may worry about doing them justice. The right song can be a very profound way of remembering a loved one, but, with the possibility of picking the wrong thing, the stakes are high.
It’s often a good idea to think about what tone you’d like to aim for, as the right music can do a lot of hard work towards setting it. If the funeral you are organising is going to be more like a celebration of life that aims to be upbeat, this should also be reflected in the music.
Some people like to select uplifting music to play at their ceremony. They want to ‘go out’ on a positive cadence, so to speak, and to make the gesture to their friends and family of trying to lessen the burden of their pain with some positive music. Others, who may have felt that they were positive and happy-go-lucky people themselves, try to find music that emphasises this.
A perfect example of a happy song often played at people’s funerals is most memorably sung by Judy Garland, from the 1939 musical The Wizard of Oz. It’s a nostalgic, innocent tune that harks back to childhood, as well as gesturing towards a happier time in the future. Many people find it comforting for this reason.
This is another great example, and is one of the most popular pop songs in British history. Selecting a song that is so widely known has the benefit of being more likely to be comforting to a larger audience, as it will be familiar. And, of course, it has an inspiring and uplifting message.
Others like to select more reflective or emotional songs. Funerals, it goes without saying, are occasions of great emotion, and, in all likelihood, of great pain.
This well known example of music speaks to our pain and gives words to our emotional suffering. There is a very gentle tenderness that consoles us, embodied by the simple combination of Cassidy’s sweet voice and the plucking of her guitar strings.
This is another popular choice. John originally wrote this song in honour of Marilyn Monroe following her death, but rewrote it and dedicated it to Princess Dianna following her death. Songs like these can connect the experience of someone’s death to the wider idea of mourning and grieving, which many find to be comforting.
Some songs work better for men, and others for women. Men often want to pick something that delivers a final, triumphant message, or which takes an irreverent side-swipe at the fact of our mortality by choosing a more comedic song. Frank Sinatra has two excellent options:
‘My Way’ is a song with a glorious, triumphant message, that will stir feelings of pride within the listener as they remember their loved one. Whereas selecting a song like ‘That’s Life’ can put a wry smile on their face, as they chuckle to themselves remembering their dad’s or their husband’s sense of humour.
Popular song choices for the funerals of women, in particular, for mothers and partners, revolve around how they’ve cared for and supported us in our lives.
This song, as performed by Bette Middler, can be a big gesture of gratitude to the women in our lives at their funerals. It can be incredibly hard to cope with the death of a parent, but music such as this can help to draw a curtain across their lives in a comforting and special way.
There is no limit to the genres that can be explored when choosing the music at a funeral, as there are all kinds of reasons why a piece of music can be special.
Some of us prefer to select music that is more timeless, turning to the genre of classical music for inspiration. There are a whole host of movements and arias that can offer comfort at a dark time, with the instrumental nature of most classical music giving us an outlet for feelings we may not quite be able to express in words ourselves.
This timeless classic is a great and well known example of such music. It’s a very elegant piece which often features at weddings as well as funerals. Classical music with a vocal line could also be selected:
Classical music like this is possibly appropriate even for a religious ceremony, and allows people to select something objectively beautiful for their last song, lending an air of dignity to their funeral. These two options are comforting, timeless choices which lend an air of elegance to proceedings.
Alternatively, there are modern classics which many people choose for a funeral.
Music like this can set off someone’s farewell with a powerful, relatable cry from the heart, providing the mourners in attendance with a cathartic shared experience.
A song like this works well as the coffin is brought into the chapel and placed upon the catafalque; at a special moment within the ceremony; and even for the committal, too.
For an end-of-life celebration with a more jubilant atmosphere, songs which are upbeat and carefree can be used.
This song is perfect for an alternative, non-traditional funeral, offering a chance to laugh and express joy, giving effect to the personality of those we’ve lost.
Some of us like nothing more than to laugh at death, and to not let it defeat us; choosing happy, or even comedic, songs are a way of expressing that urge.
Music is wrapped in personal significance, with seemingly unassuming songs unrelated to life or death becoming important for how we say goodbye to those we love.
Music has been a part of how we deal with grief for thousands of years. In fact, some of the best ancient myths and legends about death use music’s power of death as a moving theme. Love, faithfulness, trust, loyalty and reliability are the themes of many of the most popular funeral songs. Many of the songs we’ve already mentioned have lyrics which ruminate on those themes.
When a piece of music resonates with us – especially one touching on love and loss – it can help us to make sense of our own feelings, letting us process complex ideas that we may lack the words to express openly. That is why funeral music is so important.
Songs can connect with any part of our lives, and any song is capable of gaining deeper meaning.
Even a little song like ‘Chopsticks’ – the familiar practice song for students of the piano – can become more profound if its melody helps us to recall the effort that a person went to to learn that instrument. Between a husband and wife, a shared song can be a powerful symbol of their relationship. In other cases, the lyrics of a song could have been adapted to become someone’s pet-name for a loved one. These are the little details that can make a funeral truly meaningful, and a treasured experience that will live long in the memory.
Making the correct choice about what songs to have at your own funeral, or that of a loved one, can be tough. Thinking about your preferences; how you’ve lived your life; and the things you’ve seen and done can help. You can always consult the services of a death doula or of a funeral celebrant, who can work with you or your family to help find the right music. In fact, Aura has a partnership with the Association of Independent Celebrants (AIOC), and through it, we can link you to the ideal, local celebrant for your needs.
There’s nothing wrong, per se, with selecting music from an obscure corner of the heavy metal universe, if that’s what you like; after all, it’s your funeral. But you may wish to consider the wider preferences of anyone you would like to attend your funeral, and whether such music will inhibit their ability to mourn your loss effectively. Again, it’s totally up to you, but it can be useful to bear in mind the possible impact of your choices.
You might want to involve friends and family in your decision making, who can help you to home in on specific songs that you’d like, as well as offer you an opinion on whether they think certain choices would be appropriate. They can also help you to strike the right balance between your ideas and what would feel right on the day.
There are certain practical things to bear in mind when building a playlist for a funeral. If you are having a funeral in a religious setting, you may need to secure permission for certain kinds of song; anything with profanities or explicit themes may not be appropriate. You might also, depending on the venue and the music, you may need to secure copyright permission.
A funeral ceremony can only list a certain length of time, so,with that in mind, the 15-minute Vorspiel of a favourite Wagner opera may not be practically possible. It would also be sensible to check, if you want live musicians to play, such as a bagpipe lament, the availability of the musicians you would like, as well as the suitability of the venue for the desired genre of music.
When you are finalising a funeral playlist, you will want to think about the order of service, and about which songs would be more appropriate for each part (the entrance, the service, and the committal). If you have themed your funeral around an interest of yours, then it could be effective to select music which aligns with that theme. In order to help those who’ve come to mourn you, you could select a variety of musical genres, which uplifts them and helps them to reflect in equal measure.
It’s also important to attend to some practical matters, for instance, testing the playlist by playing it through once, making sure that you’ve got the correct version of each song. Make sure also to test the working order and volume of the audio equipment at the venue too, to ensure that you are familiar with how it works. This goes especially for any celebration of life or memorial that is happening after the cremation, away from the crematorium chapel.
If you are wondering about what funeral songs you may like to have at your funeral, you may also be looking to plan for your future funeral as a whole. If you are thinking about funeral plans, or are currently planning the funeral of a recently deceased loved one, then Aura is here to help you. We also have a digital, end-of-life planning platform called the Aura Circle, which allows you to add your wishes, such as which funeral songs to have, to an online profile, and share them with family.
We are the top-rated national ‘Cremation Services’ provider on Trustpilot with a score of 4.9/5 stars. We offer our funeral services to all those who need them, whether they are seeking a prepaid funeral plan for their own future, or our direct cremation services for a funeral in the immediate future.
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