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Save £100 when you purchase two funeral plans together. Call us for more details.
11 minute read
When a loved one dies unexpectedly, it can bring about a wave of shock and sorrow that can feel insurmountable. Not only must family and friends cope with emotional grief, but they are often faced with immediate practical decisions to handle as well, such as planning a funeral. This article intends to provide support and actionable steps for those dealing with the unexpected death of a loved one.
What to do when someone dies may not be immediately clear. The processes and red tape involved in dealing with the unexpected death of a loved one can feel overwhelming and complicated. These initial actions taken are crucial, however, for ensuring that proceedings run smoothly. Below are the immediate steps to take after a sudden death:
The first and most important step when someone passes unexpectedly is to call emergency services, as a medical professional will need to issue a Medical Certificate of Death. They will provide an estimated arrival time and inform you of any specific preparations needed before they arrive. If the death occurred in a hospital setting, make contact with any member of hospital staff and they will notify the appropriate professional.
Depending on the circumstances, a medical professional might need to involve a coroner, particularly if the cause of death is unclear or the death was unexpected. This may involve procedures such as a post-mortem or other investigations. If a coroner’s involvement is necessary, you will be informed quickly, and they will explain the next steps in the process.
Be prepared to follow emergency protocols, including answering questions from authorities and potentially providing access to the area where the death occurred. Recounting events and details or allowing people into personal areas might be upsetting, but cooperation is vital for helping the professionals to do what they need to do.
When death is unexpected, the coroner often plays an essential role in establishing the cause and confirming details. Here is how they help in such situations:
In instances where the cause of death is unknown, a coroner will step in to conduct an investigation. This process can take time, as it may involve gathering information from medical records, witnesses, and family members. Their aim is to provide a clear, definitive explanation for why the person died.
To determine the exact cause of death, the coroner might order a post-mortem, especially if the death was sudden and without explanation. In some situations, an inquest may be required to publicly determine how the person died. An inquest is usually held when a postmortem cannot identify a cause of death. It is a formal investigation conducted by a coroner to determine the identity of the person who has died, as well as where, when and how they died.
An inquest is often conducted with the support of a pathologist, who carries out a postmortem examination. Coroner investigations, post-mortems, and inquests may delay funeral arrangements. In September 2024, changes to the death-registration process in England and Wales have made it less likely that delays will occur through a coroner referral, but, should the coroner end up involved, it can delay the official registration process. In some cases, whilst they investigate, the coroner can issue an ‘Interim Death Certificate’ which will allow the funeral to go ahead as normal, and will work for all practical matters that a full Death Certificate would.
Losing a loved one unexpectedly creates both emotional challenges and practical responsibilities that need handling at the same time. It can feel as though you’re being pulled in opposite directions, prompting many to compartmentalise to manage the weight of it all. It is simple survival. This response can sometimes lead to delayed or hidden grief, showing up in various ways later on. Here are some suggestions to help you address both the emotional and practical sides of sudden loss:
Coping with grief, whether coping with the death of a parent or any other loved one, can be all-consuming and at times, confusing. Connecting with support systems is vital: friends, family, and trusted professionals such as grief counsellors and death doulas can help you process feelings and find coping strategies. Investigate what bereavement support is available to you, and consider looking into grief support groups, whether online or nearby. Books that explore the subject of loss and grief may also prove to be helpful if you’d like to take a more self-led, solo approach. It is important to remember that especially during this time, asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.
Focusing on one task at a time can sometimes bring a momentary sense of calm amidst the inner turmoil that often follows the death of a loved one. Ticking off items from a list and taking the first steps in planning a funeral may be what you feel comfortable arranging after such a shock. To others, dealing with logistics can feel much too overwhelming. In that case, a funeral director can offer guidance on the first practical steps, including transport and paperwork.
A good death doula is not just there to help facilitate spiritual or emotional matters; they can also lend a hand with the practical, day-to-day matters in your life that may be piling up whilst you deal with your grief and funeral logistics. They can help you even with simple things like your personal admin, and walking the dog, or getting the shopping.
Remember to take time for yourself and prioritise self-care during this challenging time. Consider allowing family, friends, or trusted individuals to step in to help with the many details involved in honouring your loved one. This might include planning the memorial service, choosing meaningful music, or managing the necessary paperwork and other administrative responsibilities. Letting others help not only lightens your load but also gives them a way to show their support and share in the remembrance process, helping to ease some of the emotional load you may be carrying.
There are a number of different parties who you’ll need to reach out to, following the unexpected death of a loved one.
Informing others about a sudden death is difficult but necessary. It can be challenging to figure out how to break bad news to those you care about. That being said, it’s important to know that everyone shares when they feel it is time, and when is appropriate. Be gentle with yourself and don’t feel pressure to rush. Ensuring that family, friends, and relevant parties are notified is a vital part of the process, but it’s okay to take some time first to consider how you want to approach it. It’s a good idea to allow yourself time to decide on the best way to share this news.
How to announce a death to friends is individual to each person. Whenever possible though, it’s generally ideal to inform immediate family and close friends face-to-face. Such impactful news feels more natural to hear first-hand. These are often the people who can provide the most support during the difficult time, so informing them in this way can be mutually beneficial. Of course, this is not always possible..so sit with all possibilities and do what feels best for you.
If the person who has died was employed, their employer should be notified as soon as possible. Additionally, any groups, organisations or clubs they were a part of may need to know as well. You may choose to do this over the phone, in person, or via post. You might even decide to entrust this task to a close friend or family member.
For government related matters, you may choose to utilise a service called Tell Us Once. This service notifies various government agencies following a death to cancel benefits, licences, and official documents. It contacts HMRC for tax and benefits, DWP for entitlements like Universal Credit or State Pension, the Passport Office to cancel passports, and more. Additionally, Tell Us Once will inform certain public sector pension schemes to stop future pension payments, including the Armed Forces, NHS, Local Government Pension Schemes, and others.
Legal and financial matters must also be addressed, and doing so goes a long way in reducing overall stress in those dealing with a sudden death. When you get a Death Certificate in the UK,it’s much easier to communicate with such institutions, as they normally need it before they can close or cancel anything.
Financial institutions need to be informed in order to close or transfer accounts. Each organisation may have different requirements, so having a checklist can help streamline this sometimes overwrought process. This approach also minimises delays and reduces burden on families, providing a clear path through otherwise intricate and sometimes drawn-out procedures. This can be especially important for families relying on an over-50s life insurance policy to pay for the funeral or cremation costs, as the provider may need to see proof of death before paying out.
The executor of the estate is typically responsible for notifying all relevant institutions, including pension providers, insurance companies, and any other financial entities. Executors may need to provide a death certificate as proof.
Clear, consistent communication with professionals can help avoid clerical headaches during this time. Funeral directors and coroners work closely to manage both practical and legal requirements. Ensuring everyone is on the same page can prevent delays and keep plans on track.
The family will need to supply specific information and signatures for essential documents, including the death certificate. This documentation is crucial as it legally verifies the death of the individual and is often needed to settle their various personal affairs. A funeral director such as Aura plays a supportive role here, and can also act as the liaison between family and coroner. Our aim is to guide the family through the necessary paperwork and ensure that all forms are filled out accurately and promptly.
By working together closely with the funeral director, the family can streamline tasks, minimising delays and ensuring that each required document is handled efficiently and with care. This collaboration helps relieve some of the pressure during a challenging time, allowing the family to focus on honouring their loved one.
In addition to the death certificate, several other documents are often necessary for a funeral to proceed smoothly.
Some funerals require specific authorisations. These include permits, cremation forms, and documentation for specific religious or cultural rites. If you are unclear about which requirements need to be met, always check with your funeral director. They will be able to get to the bottom of what is needed in your specific situation. Usually, once the death is registered, the local Registrar’s office will provide something called a ‘Green Form’; it will be sent to your funeral director, and it lets them know that the funeral, whether a cremation or burial, can legally go ahead.
Funeral directors can support families in exploring their options for a service, assisting them in choosing between attended cremation or direct cremation, and other forms of memorials. They can offer suggestions for meaningful personal touches and provide a listening ear and caring presence. They are expert in providing advice to help create a service that feels fitting and respectful for everyone.
The unexpected death of a loved one can be a devastating experience, both emotionally and practically. By taking things step by step, with guidance from friends, family, and professionals, families can suitably honour the loved one’s life, even in the face of sudden loss.
Should you need our support, our dedicated and experienced funeral arrangers, the Aura Angels, will be at your service to guide your family at every stage. From managing paperwork and making arrangements to offering a listening ear, we’ll be here to help you in your times of need. Get in touch with our team and we’ll be happy to answer any questions you have about funeral plans or anything else about Aura funerals.
