What to Wear to a Wake vs a Funeral: A UK Guide

In the UK, funerals call for smart, dark or muted clothing, while a wake, the more relaxed gathering after the funeral, is usually a little less formal. Because the wake follows on, most people simply wear the same outfit to both, perhaps loosening or removing a tie at the wake. You rarely need two outfits.

Black isn’t required, respect matters more than fashion, and the simplest rule is to follow the family’s wishes. This guide covers what to wear to each, for men, women and children, plus colours, shoes and what to avoid.

Key takeaways:

• Funerals are generally more formal than wakes, but most people wear the same outfit to both.
• Smart, dark or muted clothing is traditional in the UK, but you don’t have to wear black.
• At the wake, you can relax your outfit slightly, such as removing your jacket or tie, or adding a comfortable layer.
• Always follow the family’s dress code, especially if they’ve requested bright colours or something personal.
• Choose respectful, comfortable clothing and avoid anything overly casual, revealing or attention-grabbing.

Wake vs funeral: why the occasion changes what you wear

The funeral is the formal service, so it calls for smarter, more conservative clothing. The funeral wake is the informal gathering that, in the UK, usually takes place after the funeral, so it’s a little more relaxed.

Because the wake follows on, you’re usually already dressed for it, which is why one outfit normally covers both, and why bringing a change of clothes is rarely necessary. It’s worth flagging for anyone used to American custom: in some countries a ‘wake’ is held before the funeral, as a viewing or visitation, with its own separate dress code entirely, but in the UK it typically comes after, as the gathering where people eat, talk and support one another. 

That single difference in timing is why most UK-focused advice about wake attire looks different from what you’ll find on American sites.

What to wear to a wake vs a funeral: at a glance

Here’s the comparison at a glance:

The funeral is a notch more formal, the wake a notch more relaxed, but both should stay respectful and muted unless the family says otherwise.

What to wear to a funeral

For a funeral, smart, dark or muted clothing is usually appropriate. Men often wear a dark suit or smart trousers with a shirt and tie, while women might choose a dark or muted dress, skirt or trousers with a smart top. Aim for something modest and understated, but comfortable too, as you may be standing for periods of time.

Black is traditional, but it’s not essential. Navy, charcoal, grey and other subdued colours are all suitable unless the family has requested something specific. If you’re unsure what feels appropriate, following a traditional British funeral attire approach of simple, smart and respectful clothing is a safe choice.

What to wear to a wake

Because the wake usually follows the funeral, most people stay in their funeral clothes, and that’s completely fine. If you’d like, you can relax slightly: undo or remove a tie, swap in a softer layer, or simply take off a jacket once you’re at the venue.

For a separate or later wake, or a celebration of life, smart-casual is usually appropriate: still respectful and muted, but a little more relaxed than full funeral formality. Think smart trousers or a dress without needing a full suit or tie. When in doubt, dress as you would for the funeral; it’s always the safer choice.

Do you need to change between the funeral and the wake?

Usually, no. In the UK the wake follows the funeral on the same day, so the same outfit is expected; you don’t need to bring a change of clothes.

The exception is when the wake or celebration of life is a separate, later, or more informal event. In that case, you can dress a little more relaxed. Always follow any dress code the family has shared on the invitation, since that takes priority over any general rule.

What colour should you wear?

Black isn’t always compulsory in the UK. Dark and muted tones, navy, charcoal, grey, deep green, may all be respectful, depending on context. What to avoid is bright, loud or attention-grabbing colour, unless the family has asked for it.

There’s a growing exception worth knowing about: many families now request colour, and a celebration of life might ask everyone to wear the person’s favourite colour, or something bright and joyful. If so, try to follow that request warmly; it’s exactly what they’ve asked for.

What should men wear?

For men, a dark suit is the traditional choice for a funeral, but smart trousers with a shirt can work just as well. A muted tie and smart, polished shoes will keep the outfit respectful without feeling overly formal. If you’re unsure about the details, our funeral dress code for men covers everything from colours and shirts to shoes and accessories.

At the wake, you can relax things slightly by loosening or removing your tie or taking off your jacket. If you do choose to wear a suit, our funeral suit guide can help with choosing an appropriate style and colour. A dark overcoat is also worth bringing in colder weather, particularly if the funeral includes a burial and you’ll be standing outside.

What should women wear?

A dark or muted dress, skirt or trousers with a smart top works well; keep it modest and comfortable, with necklines and hemlines on the conservative side. Understated jewellery and smart, comfortable shoes finish the outfit, and a dark coat or other layer is worth bringing for warmth, especially at a burial where you may be standing outside for some time.

What should children and teenagers wear?

Keep it simple and kind. Children and teenagers should wear something smart, muted and comfortable; there’s no need for a full suit. School-smart clothes or dark, tidy casual wear are perfectly appropriate, and comfort matters, especially for younger children who may be restless or upset.

What to avoid wearing

As a general rule, avoid anything very casual, revealing or likely to draw attention away from the occasion. That might include shorts or beachwear, loud colours and patterns, large slogans or logos, flashy jewellery, and strong perfume or aftershave, which can be overwhelming in a crowded room.

Jeans and trainers are usually best avoided too, although they’re not always inappropriate. Whether wearing jeans to a funeral is acceptable depends on the family’s wishes, the venue and how formal the service is. If the family has specifically asked guests to dress casually, follow their lead.

Ultimately, aim for something simple, comfortable and respectful rather than worrying about getting every detail exactly right.

Religious and cultural considerations

Some faiths and cultures have specific expectations around funeral attire. While British funeral traditions have typically favoured dark, formal clothing, religious beliefs on funerals can shape what mourners are expected to wear. This might mean covering your head or shoulders in a church, mosque, synagogue or gurdwara, dressing modestly with covered arms and legs, or wearing white as a colour of mourning rather than black.

Customs can also vary between families within the same faith or culture, so it’s best not to assume one rule applies everywhere. If you’re unsure what’s expected, it’s completely fine to ask the family, a close friend or the venue. Otherwise, dressing modestly and conservatively is a safe default, and checking beforehand simply shows that you care about respecting their wishes.

Celebrations of life and summer services

Celebrations of life are often less formal than traditional funerals, and the family may set their own tone, whether that’s bright colours, a particular theme or the person’s favourite colour. If they’ve given guidance, follow their wishes. If not, our memorial service dress code can help you decide what’s appropriate.

For a summer service, choose lighter, breathable fabrics and comfortable layers while keeping your outfit smart and respectful. You don’t necessarily need to wear dark colours, but it’s generally best to avoid anything that feels too casual or revealing unless the family has said otherwise.

A simpler way to arrange a meaningful goodbye

When you’re arranging a funeral, there are already plenty of decisions to make without feeling that everything has to follow tradition. Aura’s direct cremation offers a simple, dignified alternative to a traditional funeral, giving families the freedom to say goodbye in their own way, whether that’s through a wake, a celebration of life or a private gathering at a later date.

If you’re thinking ahead for your own funeral, an Aura funeral plan can also help you put arrangements in place in advance, giving you more control over your wishes and reducing the decisions your family may need to make when the time comes.

Whether you need to arrange a funeral now or want to plan ahead, Aura is here to help you understand your options and choose a farewell that feels right for you and your family.

*Terms and conditions apply. You will receive a funeral plan summary before purchase.*