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Written by Mitch Tapner.
11 minute read
Complicated grief is when intense grief does not ease over time and continues to affect daily life for many months or even years after a loss, such as after a funeral or during the period that follows.
It can feel overwhelming, confusing, and at times frightening, especially if it seems like others are coping differently.
Grief is deeply personal, and there is no single “right” way to respond when someone has died. But when grief feels stuck or unchanged, it may be what clinicians call prolonged grief disorder or persistent complex bereavement disorder. This guide explains what complicated grief is, how it differs from more typical grief, the signs to look for, and how to find support.
Key takeaways:
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In this guide, you will find:
“Complicated grief” is the term many people in the UK are most familiar with. Clinically, it is now more often called prolonged grief disorder.
This condition is recognised in both the DSM-5, used by clinicians in the United States, and the ICD-11, the World Health Organisation’s global diagnostic system. Both describe a pattern of grief that remains intense and disruptive long after someone has died.
You may also come across the term persistent complex bereavement disorder, especially in older information. These terms all describe a similar experience. The different names reflect how medical and psychological understanding of grief has evolved over time, with different professional organisations adopting updated terminology as research and definitions have developed.
In simple terms, complicated grief is when grief continues to have a strong impact on your ability to manage daily life beyond around 6 to 12 months, without the gradual easing that many people experience over time.
All grief can be painful. Feeling exhausted, tearful, or unable to focus for months after losing someone you love, including losing a friend, is a natural response.
The difference is often in how grief changes over time. In more typical grief, emotions can come in waves. Some days may feel very heavy, while others feel a little lighter. Over time, even if slowly, many people begin to find small moments of relief or acceptance.
With complicated grief, that shift may not come. The intensity can stay the same or sometimes feel stronger.
You may have heard of the stages of grief, but not everyone experiences these in a set order, and some people may not relate to them at all.
Typical grief:
Complicated grief:
There is no deadline for grief. This is not about judging your experience. It is about recognising when extra support might help.
Many of these feelings can be part of grief. They may be signs of complicated grief when they continue for a long time, feel overwhelming, and make everyday life harder to manage.
If several of these feel familiar and have lasted for many months, speaking to a GP or bereavement counsellor may help. Support is available, even if it may not feel like it right now.
Complicated grief is not a personal failing. There are situations that can make it more likely. The nature of the death can play a role. Sudden or traumatic losses, such as accidents or suicide, can be especially hard to process. The shock can affect how grief unfolds.
The relationship also matters. Losing a partner, child, or parent can feel deeply destabilising. For many people, coping with the death of a parent can bring a strong sense of change and loss of support.
Support networks can make a difference. Feeling isolated or unable to talk about your grief can make it feel heavier.
Previous mental health challenges, such as anxiety or depression, can also increase the risk. Grief may sit alongside these experiences. Past losses or trauma can build over time. A new loss may bring back earlier feelings.
Being a carer can also shape grief. When someone has been part of your daily life, their absence can affect both routine and identity.
Even so, complicated grief can affect anyone, and many people with these risk factors do not experience it.
Losing someone suddenly or in traumatic circumstances can affect how grief is experienced.
Deaths by suicide, accidents, or unexpected illness can bring added layers of shock, unanswered questions, and sometimes guilt or anger. These feelings can make it harder to process what has happened.
Grief after suicide can feel especially isolating. Some people find it difficult to talk openly, which can deepen the sense of being alone.
If this reflects your experience, support is available:
You do not have to face this on your own.
Complicated grief and depression can look similar, but they are not the same.
With complicated grief, the distress often centres on the person who has died. There may be a strong sense of longing and difficulty accepting the loss.
With depression, low mood tends to affect all areas of life, not only the loss. It may feel more constant, rather than linked to memories or reminders.
People experiencing complicated grief may still have brief moments of warmth or connection. With depression, this can feel harder to access.
It is also possible to experience both at the same time. A GP or therapist can help you understand what you are going through and find the right support.
If you’re wondering how to deal with grief, especially when it feels overwhelming, the right support can make a difference.
Complicated grief can become more manageable with the right support. Many people do find a way to live alongside their loss, even if it takes time.
Your GP is often a good first step. You can talk about how your grief is affecting your daily life. They may suggest support services or refer you for further help.
Even without a formal diagnosis, your experience will be taken seriously.
Counselling offers a space to talk openly about your loss. This can include talking about death and dying in a way that feels safe, supported, and at your own pace.
You can access support through:
CGT is a type of therapy designed for prolonged grief disorder. It focuses on helping people process the loss and gradually rebuild their daily life.
This may involve talking through memories, exploring emotions, and finding ways to remember a loved one while continuing to manage daily life.
This type of support may be available privately or through specialist services.
Talking to others who understand grief can feel different from speaking with friends or family.
Groups are available through organisations such as Cruse and Marie Curie, both online and in person.
Some people also find comfort in books, online communities, or grief podcasts, which can offer a sense of connection and understanding.
Grief can sometimes feel like too much to carry.
Some people experiencing complicated grief have thoughts about not wanting to be here, or wishing they could be with the person who has died. These thoughts can be more common than people expect.
They are also a sign that support is important.
You do not need to wait until things feel unmanageable to reach out. These services are there to listen.
Watching someone struggle with grief can leave you unsure what to do. You might worry about what to say when someone is grieving, but often simply being there and listening matters most.
Try not to place time expectations on their grief. Comments about moving on can increase feelings of isolation. Some people find comfort in reading or sharing grief and loss quotes, especially when it’s hard to find the right words.
If their grief is affecting daily life, you could gently suggest speaking to a GP or bereavement service.
Supporting someone else can also be tiring. It is important to have support for yourself, too.
Grief can feel isolating, especially when it does not seem to ease. But what you are experiencing is recognised, and support is available. Reaching out can feel difficult, but it can be a first step towards feeling a little steadier.
At Aura, we speak to families every day who are living with loss. While we are not grief therapists or a replacement for professional bereavement support, our team can help with practical funeral arrangements and gently signpost you towards organisations and services that may be able to support you further.
If you need help with funeral arrangements or would like to speak to someone understanding and compassionate, our team is here. Call 0800 808 5723 whenever you feel ready. There is no pressure, just a calm and supportive voice when you need it.
There is no fixed timeline. It is often identified after 6 to 12 months, but it can last longer without support. Many people begin to feel more stable with the right help.
Prolonged grief disorder is recognised in clinical guidance. It is still a human response to loss. A diagnosis helps guide support.
Sometimes, especially with strong support. For many people, it improves more with professional help. Speaking to a GP can be a helpful step.
Complicated grief centres on the loss and longing for the person who has died. PTSD is more focused on the traumatic event itself. Some people experience both.
Yes, although it may look different. Changes in behaviour, school life, or physical symptoms can be signs. Support from services such as Winston’s Wish can help.
It is more common after sudden or traumatic deaths or the loss of someone very close. It can happen after any loss.